The Servant’s lie
“I love to serve!” Sometimes I feel like I tell myself lies to that I will eventually believe it. “I love school,” “I love Latin,” “I love to drive”. I recently told someone that I loved to serve and I said it so sincerely, so solemnly true that it was mostly to convince myself. Do I really love to serve? Is my heart really in it when I’m trying to do work, diligently, for others, and when I try to do it well and with a cheerful heart. The lie of the servant as I see it is, this lowly person, this Cinderella almost, who willingly does all of the hard work asked of her, and she does it without question, without any thought to her own desires. The lie I believe is that the servant never allows her personal feelings to come up while she’s serving. This belief made me feel like something what wrong when I served and all I could think about while I was cooking, cleaning, caring for children, or otherwise, was the desires of my own heart. I thought I was selfish, and because I thought about me while I served, something about me was doing it wrong.
That’s the lie, here’s the truth! We look at those diligent servants and think, they must never think of themselves, but we only think that because we have never spent a day in their heads! I have no idea what other people who serve think while they work! But probably, they have the same thoughts I have, which is all about themselves, what they’re doing later, what they want to be doing now, even maybe their sinful desires. The thing about Cinderella is, on the outside she looked so complacent to do the work for her stepmother and stepsisters, but we know the thoughts she was experiencing. She knew that being treated as a servant was wrong, but she did the work anyway because like it or not, she was still living in her father’s house and at the time she had no reason to get married or leave. However, on the inside, we knew Cinderella’s selfish desires, they weren’t necessarily evil, or ungodly, but she wanted more than what had been placed on her plate. But just think! When she tried to do things her way, to make her own dress and to go to the ball of her own fruition she failed and she was bat back down into the dirt and humbled, and only then could her fairy-godmother, divine intervention if you will, pick her up, tell her what she had to do, and give her the opportunity and the desires of her heart.
I’m not Cinderella, I’m not some indentured servant who’s being forced to work, I’m doing this because I want to. I am not however going to imply in any way that I am doing this because I am selfless, in fact I’m a long way from that. I like cleaning because when the house is empty I can listen to music or audiobooks loud and undisturbed and I like to have something to do with my hands. So I see those selfless servants and think that they are so righteous, so perfect, so loving and godly, and that I could never be like that. But the lie is, I can’t see their hearts, only God can see their hearts, and when I see my own heart and see how far I am from perfect, I feel humbled that God sees my heart and yet he has still given me this opportunity to serve.
God! I’m going to take this opportunity to serve! I am going to use it for Your glory! No matter what is going through my head when I cook, clean, or do whatever you placed me to do! What I’m doing is for Your glory! Not to make me feel good, or blessed, or even to fill my head with my selfish thoughts that comfort me. God this is for Your glory that I serve! Please take me and mold me to be more like the person you want me to be!